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Donn Calcott

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Happy New Year - 2011 [Jan. 1st, 2011|08:37 pm]
Donn Calcott
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Location |On Train Back To Swindon After Work.]
[mood |restlessrestless]
[music |Film; Slumdog Millionaire.]

And so, another year is over.

It happens faster than I care to admit. It flys by and so much happens it in a year it's scary when you look back.

In 2010, I finished my Manager training. I made the leap and moved to Bristol. I met Mike. We developed into a relationship and moved to Swindon together and we're happy. My relationship with my mother, father and sister became closer than ever. I went on my first package holiday to Lanzarotte with Adam. There is much more, I'm sure. But it escapes me whilst I'm on the train travelling back home.

2011 is here, and by the time I get home to Mikey and we have pizza. There will only be 364 days of it let. This is going to be my year.

I keep seeing status updates of people saying "it's MY year. A new year. A new me".... to be honest, I don't want a "new me". I want the old me.

After work this evening, I had 1 hr to kill before I came home. I went to Adams and we chatted, and looked at old photos. I used to be damn fit. I've always thought i was fat. Talk about body dismorphia. I used to be so confident when I lived in Plymouth. I was a very big fish, and a little pond. I used to walk into Zeros with all my guys and eveyone knew me. And I knew everyone. I was popular, and social, and extavert.

That's how I want to be. Slim. Confident. Funny. Social. Popular. Loving Life. Always Wanting More, Ambitious.

2011 is the year that I'm FINALLY going to be financially solvent. 2011 is the year I'm going to get as fit as I used to be, without all the worrying about what I think i look like. 2011 is the year i'm going to stop worrying.

I'm going to go on a Cake Decorating course I saw, because that's what I enjoy. I want to go on a French language corse, because that's what I used to enjoy at school, and I love to travel and would love to be able to speak French to a more proficiant level than I can now.

Mike wants me to move to Reading. And I guess, after all he's done for me, I will move for him too. I can't deal with the commute to/from Swindon every day. And he's said that we'll split up if we live apart. So it's the only thing for it.

2011 is also the year i'm going to take control of my diet, as well as my fitness. I will break free from my cycle of binge eating. No more wolfing down 9 mince pies at a time then getting so embarrased that I have to replace them. No more eating cakes and sweets in the car and trying to dispose of the evidence. I never used to have these issues, so I dont know why I have developed them. I dont like feeling this way and it's killing me. Not even my uniform fits me right now.

I guess I'm going to have to follow a diet. Eat 5 small meals/snacks a day, avoiding leaps in my blood sugar and exercise 3 times a week. eg

Breakfast - Porridge/Toast/Cereal/Musili+Yogurt/Fruit+Yogurt.
Snack - Chocolate Digestive bar (90Kcal per Tesco Value bar) or Caramel wafer in chocolate (80 Kcal) with a cup of tea. Something sweet to look forward to in the day.
Lunch - Salad/Soup/Ready Meal
Snack - Oat Cakes + Cottage Cheese, Rice Cakes, Vegtable crudetes and Homous, Fruit.
Dinner - Ready Meal or soup and roll if working, if at home cook a fresh meal with mainly fresh veg and protein. And have a pudding.

Gym 3 times a week. Although, I want to start taking up jogging too. I'm thinking along the lines of a 3mile jog. All I have to do is work out where 1.5 miles from my house is so I can run there and then turn around. Then move it up to 2.5 miles each way. Then 5.

2011 is going to be a good year. If only I can get Mike to stop being so worried about us and to get some confidence, then it's all going to be okay.

I'm going to rock 2011...
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Christmas Shopping. [Dec. 13th, 2010|05:14 pm]
Donn Calcott
[Current Location |Exeter St Davids]
[music |MJ + Akon - "Hold My Hand"]

Christmas, Not X-mas. Never take the Christ out of Christmas.

Why is it so hard trying to get something for the folks?! :(
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Actually, [Dec. 10th, 2010|03:18 pm]
Donn Calcott
I miss who I used to be.

I'm 24. Soon i shall be 25.

I'm wasting my life and need to take action.

It might be this strong coffee giving me a kick up the ass, but I feel like i need to take action again.

No more excuses. Nothing to hold me back.
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Starbucks, Again. [Dec. 10th, 2010|03:14 pm]
Donn Calcott
[Current Location |Starbucks, Temple Meads]
[mood |anxiousanxious]

So I have a new hobby. It's called drinking £1 filter coffee in Starbucks when I am waiting to start work on my own. They have wi fi and I don't have to sit and listen to any bulls*it from people I dont like at work. Although, there aren't many of them....

Starting to really dislike Swindon now. I need to make some mates, so I think I'm gonna have to start using Gaydar and Fitlads a lot more and get chatting to people, I'm not sure how Mike will feel about that because I just know that he'll get all wound up thinking that I want to cheat on him again... But, at this rate, there are so many times I can say I'm happy living in a strange city with out any friends. And I'm afraid that without any other social life our relationship will burn out. So I'm gonna have to talk to him.

This weekend we are going Christmas shopping for the tree etc and Cards.

Clive Haywood gave me a card yesterday with a £10 HMV voucher in, from his father. Very nice, uber generous and quite sweet. But still most deffinately creepy.

Looking forward to Christmas and seeing all my friends.

Not looking forward to not being able to fit into any of my clothes for parties etc. Very embarrasing.

I'm going to go back to the gym 3 times a week. I need to get back into the swing of things, like the way they were before I met mike. I wanna fit back into those 38" shorts I bought....

Stop shoving in the mince pies then, fatty.
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Busted [Dec. 9th, 2010|07:46 pm]
Donn Calcott
[Current Location |BHM Canteen]

So late night Mike came home and sussed out what I did. Oh man. Embarrased. I need help.

Have a lovely lunch today which he made for me, so i'm sat in the canteen munching on that.

The Goverment have voted in favour to raise tuition fee's. Not cool.
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Mince... [Dec. 8th, 2010|11:42 pm]
Donn Calcott
[Current Location |Living Room, 8 The Studio]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |TV]

Mince pies.

I love them.

I've had a massive binge today. And I've hidden it from Mike. I'm a monster. I even went out to buy more to make it look like I've not eaten them...

As funny as it is, It's actually a serious problem. How can I diet if I binge eat.

It's not normal.
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Starbucks Mania [Dec. 7th, 2010|11:34 am]
Donn Calcott
[Current Location |Starbucks; Temple Meads]
[mood |awake]

So, I got to work early and decided to come into starbucks for a coffee.

I put some cash on a Starbucks (Red) Card, so I'm helping fight AIDS. But looking at the back of the card, just 5p is paid towards RED. That's not that much really, is it? I guess I could just make a donation myself.... But then, I guess the idea of Red is to help the charity in the course of your day to day life. Meh. Every little helps, I guess.

Also, free wi-fi.... amazing. But, then I'm also sat with my dongle. So that's redundent.

The only good thing is that I can update my Spotify on my iPod Touch and get a tall coffee for £1.

And today, I am about to start a double Birmingham. Not the best trip in the world. But I'll manage. Not even got good crews. and I'm so hyped on coffee I'm gonna go fuck the first person up who hasnt got a ticket.

And by "Fuck someone up cos i'm so hyped on coffee" what I really mean is ask them to buy one....

God bless England.
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Fatty! [Nov. 21st, 2010|10:50 pm]
Donn Calcott
[Current Location |Living Room, Swindon.]
[music |American Dad.]

So I can go most of the day on a diet, but late afternoon/ear;y eve I freak out and binge eat.

I need to plan a diet meal plan to cut this shit out. At least I know what is going on now.

Lanzarotte a week today. Looking forward to it.

American Dad is amazing. Watching it again.
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Eugh [Nov. 20th, 2010|10:36 pm]
Donn Calcott
[Current Location |Swindon, Bedroom]
[mood |sicksick]
[music |Tina Turner - River Deep, Mountain High]

I weigh 19.5 stone. I hate myself and feel sick. Carrying this weight around cannot be good.

I must get back on the diet band wagon.

In other news I have been with Mike Harris for over 7 months now and we live together in a 2 bed flat we're renting in Swindon. Scary shit.

Going on holiday with Adam a week on Sunday. Week all inclusive to Lanzarotte. Looking forward to sun and beer. Not looking forward to getting my tits out.
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An update... [Sep. 20th, 2010|05:01 pm]
Donn Calcott
[Current Location |7 Somerset Road, Bristol - Bedroom.]
[music |Watching Friends On Freeview.]

I keep going through stages where I dont update this for months.

It's always a long time.

I'm becoming a chef.
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